ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
