she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
