did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
