You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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