the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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