i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
