He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
