guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
