dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
