I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
