you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
