yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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