My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
