just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
