i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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