I'm drive I can fine osifer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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