I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm eating all of the evidence.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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