I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
