So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
