I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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