We named our party play list daddy issues
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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