I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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