come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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