her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
