I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
