I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
