I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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