i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize