you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My life is pants optional.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
