She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want to make out with him forever
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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