I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
