That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
