is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
