i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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