Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
