I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
