What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
