am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
