Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
