Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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