I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
