my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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