Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
