Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
