id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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