At least make sure they are 18
Why
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
