Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
