did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
