peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
