i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
